Fortunate enough to be raised by parents, who heavily invested in themselves in regards to health and wellness, this surely peaked my interest on the holistic wellness journey, however, not everyone is this lucky. Rather, this very fact that not everyone has this background or upbringing is something I had to get used to and what has continuously inspired me to enlighten those, who are completely unfamiliar with some of the subjects I teach now. However, my parents didn’t teach me anything about menstruation, fertility, PMS, herbalism and other movements that could embrace a women to thrive, but they did generally embrace what was healthy and what was not beneficial for the body.
I was in 9th grade when my dad found a birth control pack in my room. I vividly remember him being furious, and quite truthfully, I think he was more concerned about me ingesting what was thought to be toxic for my body, rather than the idea of having sex. When I attended the “Birds and the Bees” with my 5th grade female classmates and mothers, I recall feeling quite uncomfortable. All I remember is we have ovaries… here’s some basic science on why you have a period… your first period will come soon… this is a tampon…this is a pad… and… don’t have sex. Oh, and everyone get on the pill (obviously, there’s a chance you’ll have sex) — it will regulate your cycle and help alleviate period pain when that times comes. I can’t recall if there was conversation of condoms or safe sex at that age; we might have been too young. There’s honestly no remembrance of having any other formal knowledge of sex as a kid. I learned everything from friends, and I’m sure a lot of you will be able to relate to your friends being your biggest influencers in the sex department.
High school was inevitably care-free. I wasn’t taking birth control anymore after the terrifying lecture my dad delivered about a year prior. It’s sophomore year now, and I’ll never forget shaking uncontrollably in the hallway with the most miserable of cramps, feeling nauseous and lightheaded, I could barely stand. No birth control to alleviate the misery, I felt hopeless. A boy I was dating from another school came to pick me up. He too, was learning the complexities of the female body and told me he completely understood because his mother said, “it’s normal for girls to have cramps”. You see, what I started to slowly reveal in time, is this is a domino effect. Passed on from generations before us, mother to daughter, woman to woman, we normalize period pain, the discomfort, the unknown of the conditions women develop and sadly, continue to live in the unknown of why issues occur, when truly, it was our way for our bodies to speak to us this entire time. It was later in life that I learned there is a reason why your cycles might not be regular or why you might experience period pain.
Fast forward to college, I’m 19, and I fall in love with no desire to have children anytime soon. So, what do you do? Your choices are risk for pregnancy, condoms (expensive & well… condoms), abstinence (not for everyone) or last resort, birth control.
Once again, I got back on the pill and was on it for about a year, but I intuitively knew my parents were onto something when I thought of the fury from 9th grade all over again. Not only that, but at this age, I started to intensely research the pros and cons myself. Regardless of research, I knew something was off. I felt controlled, contained and frankly, modified. I simply and truly, was not myself. After lightly bringing up the concerns I had to my boyfriend about being on birth control, to my amazement, he was fully on board for me to stop taking it.
I honestly was not ready though. Terrified to get off birth control and not ready for children yet, my solution-oriented mind started churning and I instead, started researching the birth control options that would “not affect my hormones”. I say this lightly, because knowing what I know now, there is no such thing. You’re probably reading this wondering the same idea and have probably even researched it as well. Let me clear it up for you. All birth control affects your hormones.
Anyways, it’s 2014, looking for the next best thing, and this led me to getting the Nexplanon birth control method (later called Implanon) implanted into my arm. I figured that just because I’m not getting estrogen pumped into the body, and it’s “only progesterone”, this should be better.
Wrong! The Nexplanon was like one of those cruel “would you rather” jokes. “Would you rather spot and lightly bleed every day for the rest of your fertile days or would you rather have excruciatingly painful periods with a heavy flow?” I was “lucky” to have been chosen as one to bleed all the time, whether it was during sex (frequently!), in marketing class or casually deciding to finally wear those cute white pants. It was a delightful birth control choice that I made for a total of 2 years.
I surely knew something was off then too. After all, my biggest concern and most apparent issue was that it was difficult to determine if my emotions, drive and desires were truly me or if I was influenced by something else. Sure, birth control is supposed to balance your hormones, but I can tell you right now, I did not feel balanced.
Fall of 2015, my boyfriend suggested that I get this birth control removed. He also thought it was completely bizarre to have anything at all implanted into my arm, almost as if I should feel violated and invaded in some way. It did start to feel invasive and looking back on it, it was entirely bizarre. He knew me as a person who wanted to be in touch with who I was and someone who strongly valued integrity and a holistic lifestyle. When I recognized that birth control, no matter what kind, affected the “soul” focus in my life and only caused confusion, it was time to reconnect with the truth of who I was and who I want to be.
I honestly didn't do too much research for alternatives on what our options for safe sex would be, but I knew we’d figure it out and was grateful to have someone who supported anything we decided on. I mean, my thought was the con of condoms couldn’t be worse than this dilemma and “soul” crises I was having.
It’s now December 2015. I’m in the doctor’s office waiting room and feeling fully confident to have the Nexplanon removed. After being called into the room, where they’d complete the removal, I’m greeted by two nurses for what I’d politely like to call a “sit down”. Frankly speaking, it felt more like harassment. I immediately felt bullied and belittled. These women were shouting statistics of the number of women, who get pregnant within the first year of getting off birth control, almost as if they were placing bets on me. There was no sense of education in this little get together, and it appeared more as a scare tactic. All I knew was that I needed to get out of there ASAP. At first, I walked into that office feeling empowered and quickly left with an emptiness of self-worth and a 1.6” plastic rod still inserted into my arm.
Thankfully, this only motivated me to realign my energies and get back into that state of encouragement and confidence. I started following and making connections with other women on social media, who promoted holistic living, birth control free lifestyles. This is where I discovered the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Wow! Were my eyes opened!
A trend was recognized after diving into this information and recalling the experience in the doctor’s office. It was not those nurses’ fault that I believed them to be the instillation of fear during that visit. They simply did not know any better. What they were trying to teach me, and the fear they may have relayed to me as well, is what they have been taught. This is the sad, unfortunate truth. Women were once young girls who were never taught anything other than to be pushed onto birth control because it’s the “easy thing to do”. Unfortunately, this knowledge and way of living is getting passed down from generation to generation and unveiling issues of inflammation, fibroids, ovarian cysts, PCOS and infertility. Doctors are taught the same mainstream misinformation, studying from outdated textbooks and teaching their patients misguided information. The world is ever changing, and quite quickly. It’s no wonder we can’t keep up!
It is heartbreaking how many women can become complacent with uncertainty, confusion and suffering when it comes to understanding their bodies. As soon as I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, something clicked for me. I felt less stuck, less in the unknown. I finally felt I had gained some power back. Not only in charge of my fertility, but in charge of my body. I officially made a choice and never looked back.
Fast forward to April 25th, 2016, and I’m back at the same doctor’s office, preparing to make a confident lifestyle decision toward freedom. I stepped into the room, ready to have it removed, and the exact nurses I had encountered beforehand had a similar spiel to try and scare me out of what they thought was a “terrible decision”. This time was different though. I knew their fear was not directed at me and their fear had everything to do with them. I knew better for myself and had the power to stand my ground, get in and out of there with ease.
The burden of confusion was removed immediately after that birth control rod was taken out. Clarity appeared again. I know longer felt masked, and finally felt radiant again, almost as if I had shed a muddy layer of negative vibration from my aura. I was completely relieved. I knew in that moment; this was right thing for me.
Birth control is not for everyone, and quite frankly, after knowing what I know now, I believe birth control is simply unnecessary. Now, don’t get me wrong, everyone is different, but this certainly sparked a journey of discovery. It’s been invigorating! Not always easy but without a doubt, rewarding. This story is not to convince you to get off birth control, and even though I have my opinions about birth control, it is something sacred shared from my own personal journey. The appropriate amount of education, care and patience is recommended before taking the leap.
I wouldn’t change any of it for a second, and this has skyrocketed a passion within me to inspire others about the beautiful magic our bodies contain, just waiting to be unleashed, not harbored by some controlled pharmaceutical. The subtle signs your body tells you about your fertility is game changing. How to avoid conception naturally has never been easier (Oh wait! I take that back. These are natural methods! - it can be easy.) Not only that, but the education of increasing your odds for getting pregnant and clearing up confusion toward infertility needs to be delivered to women.
There is a burning desire within all of us, which wants to create. Birth control or not, when our energies are depleted and our bodies are manipulated, this creative energy can get stuck. Stagnation and stored energy in the body can lead to ailments, sickness, and serious complications. It is vital we learn how fertility (baby fever or not!) is a powerful representation of over overall health.
After getting off of birth control, I felt more in tune with my body’s wants and needs, better able to understand triggers and guidance to strive for balance and moderation. I have always been passionate about nutrition and healthy living, but this journey inspired me to deepen my education on hormone health, then inevitably stumbled into herbalism and how it can be a wonderful compliment. Especially since I have struggled with allergies (food related and seasonal), digestive issues, inflammation, PMS symptoms, fatigue, brain fog, and so much more, herbalism has been a game changer for balancing my hormones.
